When You’re Mid-Twenty And Haven’t Figured Life Out Yet!
Today’s post will probably be the most personal online article on THE DAILY HAPPINESS. In this post, I want to talk about a mid-twenty girl’s struggles when she hasn’t figured life out yet. Additionally, how the pressure of society is affecting the whole situation.
Let me start today’s article with a question for you. When you were younger, what did you dream about how your life would be when you were older? What was your dream job? What was your dream in general?
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of getting married by 26 and having two children. I also dreamed about having figured life out by this time in my life. Right now, I am far away from that point in life. If I fulfilled my dream from my younger self, I would get married next year. Hell no, that this would happen. I still dream about my fairytale wedding but don’t see this step in my life because I’m still in university. I have one year left with my master’s degree, so having my own family now is impossible. Mid-twenty is also actually a peculiar age. It’s that time when most of my friends and I are getting our academic careers done, and a few other friends just got married and are now expecting their first child. It feels like a completely different world.
PRESSURE & WORK-LIFE BALANCE
Most of the time, I know what I want in life. Still, since I’m in my master’s studies, I often feel I no longer know how to handle adulting and what I want. It starts with the feeling that somehow, my efforts for school aren’t enough anymore, and my grades are not as high as they used to be. I know that academic grades aren’t everything, but for me, they are significant. Whatever I do, it doesn’t seem to be enough. Besides that, I felt I was failing in life, which is one of my worst fears. Sometimes those feelings hit me harder, and sometimes a little less. So, it took me a few months of driving crazy, mistakes and lack of motivation, but here I am. Ready to get back into the girl who knows what she wants and is willing to work to achieve her dreams and goals!
I also understood that I can’t live as I used to. My life was like studying and working like crazy until I was so exhausted and nearly burned out with depression and anxiety attacks that I literally threw everything away. Only to regret it a few weeks later. (This time, it even took me a few months to get back on track!) Therefore, I want to live a more balanced life from now on. Work-Life Balance is the goal because being busy shouldn’t be as fancy as it sounds! Furthermore, I believe in having it all and being capable of achieving anything I want to! This will be my half-year resolution for the rest of the year.
Additionally, I also took my time to figure out what I wanted to achieve in life and want to do with my future. Trust me, even with new energy and a fresh perspective, I haven’t figured everything out yet. But I do know that my goal right now is to successfully finish my master’s degree in finance with an average grade, which will be better than my bachelor’s degree. I have already achieved a good rank for my BA degree. It’s just that I would like to improve myself. Then, on the other hand, this pressure is precisely what drives me into insanity. The pressure I put so much on myself. A struggle in my life I do really want to get under control!
Many people think I am getting good results with minimal effort. That impression is far from reality. If you follow me on Instagram, this platform shows the bright side of my life. Everything I am posting there, I am really doing, and sometimes I post my study night sessions with a high-stress level mark. However, what nobody sees, not even my fellow students, is that I often study until 4 am because I am the queen of procrastination. Sometimes the workload is so heavy that there are nights when I don’t even go to sleep at all or when I am crying a river. Most of my acquaintances only see the result, which leads to the impression that I easily handle my life. Another substantial personal change I need to work on is my time management. Something I would tell my younger self to work on very early on.
Another reason I haven’t figured out life yet is my stay abroad. A few days ago, I announced on my Instagram that I’d move abroad again in a few weeks. Now, this is something I have been super proud of and, moreover, incredibly grateful for! If you have read THE DAILY HAPPINESS for a while, you know I also lived in Munich, Paris, London and NYC. With my next city, this would mean five different cities in only five years. It is a great opportunity, and I do not want to complain about it because I do not take this for granted.
On the other hand, I decided that this would be the last time with moving abroad. I have reached a point in my life where I want to “settle” in one place where I can start working on my life and career. I never thought I would ever say that because flying around the world and working and living everywhere used to be what I liked. However, five times in five years had been too much. Besides, moving abroad so often also already affected my private life twice and due to that, I want to stay in one place for a particular time and to figure everything out. There are things about studying abroad nobody tells you. One of them is the struggle of constantly moving. Here are other secrets nobody tells you, but you should definitely know.
Lastly, another topic in my life currently is also the financial aspect. In Western society, people do not talk openly about finance. Nevertheless, one of my oldest friends and I have the new year’s resolution every year to have funds and know how to handle our finances. What an irony that I am currently pursuing a master’s degree in finance and am good with numbers and everything, but I still struggle sometimes when it comes to my finances. This is also a topic which I want to figure out in life too. Because as a mid-twenty girl, there are suddenly a lot of invoices coming into my mailbox. And since I work in accounting, there will likely be more invoices the older you get.
The most important conclusion about all the changes is that it is okay to be at this age and haven’t figured life out yet! Do not put so much pressure on yourself; you will figure out everything step by step.