When You’re Mid-Twenty And You Haven’t Figured Life Out Yet!
Today’s post is probably going to be the most honest and moreover, the most personal post, which will ever go online on LY MADEMOISELLE. In this post, I want to talk about the struggles a mid-twenty girl is going through when she hasn’t figured life out at all yet. Additionally, how the pressure of society is affecting the whole situation, but also what this means for the future of LY MADEMOISELLE. The latter, I want to briefly talk about what this website means to me and how the future of this website will look alike.
Let me start today’s article with a question to you. When you were younger, what did you dream about how your life will be when you are older? What was your dream job? What was your dream in general?
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of getting married by the age of 26 and then having two children. I also dreamed about having figured life out at all by this time in my life. Right now, at this time, I can tell you that I am way far away from that point in life. Well, if I would fulfil my dream from my younger self, then I would get married next year. Hell no, that this would happen. I do still dream about my fairytale wedding, but I don’t see this step right now in my life because I’m still in university. I have one year left with my master degree and therefore, having my own family now is impossible. Also, sometimes I feel like I can’t even handle my own life, so how am I supposed to take responsibility for a child?! Mid-twenty is also actually a peculiar age. It’s that time in life where most of my friends and I are getting our academic careers done, and a few other friends just got married and now are expecting their first child. It feels like a completely different world.
P R E S S U R E & W O R K – L I F E B A L A N C E
Most of the time I would say I know what I want in life, but since I’m in my master studies, I do more often get the feeling that I have no clue how to handle adulting and what I do even want anymore.
It starts with the feeling that somehow, my efforts for school aren’t enough anymore, and my grades are not as high as they used to be. Now I know that academic grades aren’t everything, but for me, they are actually significant. The consequences of not getting the result I hoped for did lead to my lack of motivation and also my creativity block, which affected my website during the last months. I just had the feeling that whatever I do, it doesn’t seem to be enough. The only thing that I could still manage somehow was my accounting job. Besides that, I had the feeling that I am failing in life, which is honestly one of my worst fears. Sometimes those feelings hit me harder and sometimes a little bit less. So, it took me a few months of driving crazy, mistakes and lack of motivation, but here I am. Ready and motivated to get back on track! Ready for getting back into the girl who knows what she wants and who is willing to work for achieving her dreams and goals!
I also came to the understanding that I can’t live like I used to do anymore. My life was like studying and working like crazy until I was so exhausted and nearly to a burn-out with depressions and anxiety attacks that I literally threw everything away. Only for regretting it a few weeks later. (This time it even took me a few months for getting back on track!) Therefore, I want to live a more balanced life from now on. Work-Life Balance! Which is going to be my half-year resolution for the rest of the year and the key to most of my struggles. Because I definitely do believe in having it all and in being capable of achieving anything I want to!
Furthermore, I also took my time to figure out what I do want to achieve in life and want to do with my future. Trust me, even with getting new energy and a fresh perspective; I haven’t figure everything out yet. But what I do know is that my goal for right now is to successfully finish my master degree in finance with an average grade, which will be better than my bachelor degree. I already achieved a good rank for my BA degree. It’s just that I would like to improve myself. Then, on the other hand, this pressure is exactly what drives me into insanity. The pressure I put so much on myself. A struggle in my life I do really want to get under control!
A lot of people have the impression that I am merely getting my good results with the minimum of effort. That impression is far from reality. If you follow me on Instagram, this platform shows the bright side of my life. Everything I am posting there, I am really doing, and sometimes I do also post my study night sessions with the high-stress level mark. However, what nobody sees, not even my fellow students, is that I often study until 4 am because I am the queen of procrastination. Sometimes the workload is so heavy, that there are nights, where I don’t even go to sleep at all, or where I am crying a river. Only my best friends now about these situations. The majority of my circle of acquaintances only see the result, which leads to the impression that I handle my life with ease. So another substantial personal change I need to work on is my time management and my procrastination.
L I V I N G A B R O A D
Another reason, which gives me the feeling of haven’t figured out life yet are my stays abroad. Now, this is something I have been super proud of and moreover, incredibly grateful! A few days ago, I announced on my Instagram that I’d move abroad again in a few weeks. If you have read LY MADEMOISELLE for a while now, then you know that I also lived in Munich, Paris, London and New York City. With my next city, this would mean five different cities in only five years. I know it is a great opportunity, and it is something I do not want to complain about because I do not take this for granted.
On the other hand, I decided that this is going to be the one last time with moving abroad. I have actually reached a point in my life where I want to “settle” in one place, where I can start working on my life and my career. I never thought I would ever say that because flying around the world and working and living everywhere used to be what I like. However, five times in five years had maybe been a little bit too much. Besides, moving abroad so often also already affected my private life twice and due to that, I want to stay in one place for a particular time and to figure everything out.
Lastly, another topic in my life currently is also the financial aspect. In Western society, people do not talk openly about finance. Nevertheless, one of my oldest friends and I have every year the new year’s resolution of having funds and knowing how to handle our finances. What an irony, that I am currently pursuing a master degree in finance, that I am good with numbers and everything, but when it comes to my finances, I still struggle sometimes. So this is also a topic which I want to figure out in life too. Because as a mid-twenty girl, there are suddenly a lot of invoices coming into my mailbox. And since I am working in accounting, I know that it’s just going to be more invoices the older you get.
The most important conclusion about all the changes is that it is okay to be at this age and haven’t figured life out yet! Do not put so much pressure on yourself, and you will figure out everything steps by step.
L Y M A D E M O I S E L L E
So what do these changes and my new ways of seeing things mean for LY MADEMOISELLE? Of course, I also did a brainstorming about this website, because it is something I do really enjoy, even though sometimes I have a lack of creativity and time. However, when thinking about which message I do want to give with this website, I came to the result, that a lot of my friends and family members are often coming to me for my advice. It is because analysing situations and finding a solution with having empathy is one of my biggest strengths. Do you know these type of people who are giving the best advice but never listen to them when it comes to their self? Yes, that’s totally me!
Anyway, thinking about the future of LY MADEMOISELLE, I want to use this website and my YouTube for giving advice and sharing my stories with you as a friend or a big sister. A big sister, who you might wish you had like I do. I want to be there for everyone who just needs advice or a little bit of inspiration by covering all the topics in life such as studying, career, finance, fashion and beauty but also travel. Additionally, I do also want to focus some of the issues on luxury. Precisely, how to afford and invest in it, because it is something I do immensely enjoy, and I want to show that everyone who dreams about it can achieve it!
As a friend, I do also talk a lot about relationships and family matters. These two topics are actually the only two things I have never talked about online, and I do not intend to change that for now. I decided to leave those two topics still out because I want to keep my private life private. Maybe one day, for the love and relationships topics, but now I do not feel ready for writing about it yet.
As for the regulatory of articles; I decided to give my best and see how this is working out. I do enjoy writing articles, but I’m also a full-time student in finance, which is my priority. Additionally, I’m having a job and also try to fit in my private life, for not getting insane and burn-outs. I hope you do understand that and you will still go through this journey with me here on LY MADEMOISELLE.
Love, Ly <3